Nora Lewin: Abused, tortured, and now destroyed. Only ten adult bookstores left in Times Square, and I'm the only owner born in this country. Lennie Briscoe: It ain't for stealing home. Dr. Naim: When I was a boy, my uncle in Tehran talked to the Moon. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [reluctantly admitting it] Yeah, she was selling drugs. Ted Parker: You know... you aged better than me. Adam Schiff: He hasn't had a thought since the Carter administration. Corey Kaufman: Everyone gets along perfectly, you have a flat line. Detective Ed Green: My aunt had a spaniel that didn't like tall men. I like her. He can write. And they walk away from three murders. You know, you don't sound as stupid as you look. Alexandra Borgia: There's at least an argument for it. I get up every morning hoping to find an honest man. If it's okay for them to shoot him, it's okay for them to shoot anyone, including any one of you. Detective Lennie Briscoe: If Barbara Spiegelman was anything like my ex's mother... Captain Donald Cragen: Hey, Marge's mother and I aren't exactly hugs and kisses. You are. Det. Yeah, well [sighs] - at least he didn't need to take them! Neil Gorton: I don't know which I'm going to enjoy more: seeing Newman go free, or seeing you lose. Jamie Ross: [Dr. Nasser lied about being a cardiologist] Mr. Tobak finally came through. Serena Southerlyn: You mean something other than torturing him? Nick Margolis: All right. Detective Cyrus Lupo: Nice work if you can get it. Detective Ed Green: If you don't talk, I'm sure Granados will. He just happened to be in the room when he was conceived. I'm finding, as a matter of law, the People failed to meet the standard of proof I said at the beginning of trial. On your feet. Adam Schiff: Yeah, you're going to be the first man to get the better of her. Abbie Carmichael: Killing someone's a pretty sick way of saying "I love you". D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Jack? D.A. I mean, these people were very dangerous people. Detective Lennie Briscoe: If she doesn't already know. Toss one pitch, knock over two bottles. Danielle Melnick: Julian Prusse is accused of a crime but that doesn't make him Hannibal Lecter. Jack McCoy: [Serena hands him a sheet of paper] Miss Southerlyn, you've outdone yourself. Executive A.D.A. It's how you spend the money that counts. [pause] You're going after my grandson to embarrass me. Claire Kincaid: Why not? Jamie Ross: [barging in on Gorton's defense conference] You son of a bitch! In Mr. Dworkin's vacuum world, the man who takes a little girl hostage while attempting to rob a bank, as long as he feeds her well, must be treated better than a cop who used excessive force in trying to save the life of that innocent child. Det. Logan: Well, it must have been tempting. I wish I had a legacy. There's supposed to be two towers standing over there. A.D.A. In about ten seconds, I'm gonna start smilin' like a village idiot and peelin' off hundred dollar bills onto your shiny brass bar. Ben Stone: Oh yeah? Lieutenant Sullivan: [looking at the victim] Oh, god. Dawn Sterling: I'm his wife, perhaps I can help? I don't usually do discipline, but I would love to teach him some manners. You figure it out. Detective Joe Fontana: What's your last name? Can we have his? A.D.A. I can't answer it myself. Bad news, no semen. Jack McCoy: Because the defense bent over backwards to stir up sympathy for a cold-blooded killer! D.A. I guess justice isn't for sale after all. Right now I gotta get a javelin out of somebody's chest. Detective Lennie Briscoe: To answer your question, too many. It doesn't take my name off the list. A.D.A. D.A. A.D.A. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: You and I both know they didn't mean to hurt anybody. [pause] Regina's a proud shanty Irish. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [finds a man hiding in the closet with a golf club] You got a permit for that putter? That bastard, he stole her away from me. Lennie Briscoe: Why don't you come and stay with me for a while 'till you get back on your feet, huh? Someone's lying! They kill judges down there for sport! One way or another, I had to get Tashjian on the stand. Mike Logan: Maybe the ex-Mrs. C-Squared? A.D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Next time you wanna get some bones broken, try falling down a flight of stairs. Jamie Ross: [after asking lawyer to divulge a privileged secret] I'd definitely owe you one. Their taxes! You know, I'm supposed to be his son too. Detective Rey Curtis: I told her I was married. Detective Lennie Briscoe: He's on the other side, period. Ben Stone: We had that kid dead to rights. A.D.A. Lt. Anita Van Buren: I just got the page. Jack McCoy: All those impressionable young minds that you molded over the years. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, what he said. I'm tired of it. [the trial of a policeman has just ended in his suicide]. Jack McCoy: I thought he was going to ask your favorite sexual positions next. D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: He's playing with the brains God gave him: isn't that kosher? Detective Lennie Briscoe: [out of breath] Just shoot me, will you? And you're certain that your vic was trying to call me? Ben Stone: He's not your typical killer. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Six inches to the right and Lincoln would have seen the end of the play. Jeffrey Goldsmith: Just checking the ponies. I mean, do you really think he'd be involved in the murder of a homosexual prostitute? Without the law, there can be no freedom, and without justice, there can be no law. Ed Green: Hey, the best way to get a drunk to open his mouth is to let him drink, isn't that right, Lennie? Those old farts couldn't wait to get their own hands on it. D.A. D.A. And in good faith, we seek guidance from our moral leaders, from scientists. Dantoni's Attorney: Mr. Dantoni merely seeks the same offer your office provides any other crime victim. They stole them from me, they want me to sleep. Abbie Carmichael: [Adam leaves] I'm not happy about this. Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Well, there have been a lot of flu-related deaths in the past few weeks. Roger Cleary: [facing six counts of murder two] All right, Mr. Stone, I'm a businessman. Jamie Ross: They got the M.E. Here in this court room, with you. Detective Joe Fontana: His life flashed before his eyes. What the hell has happened to this city? Detective Lennie Briscoe: You know, Rey, if you ever left the police department, you could have a hell of a career as an egg timer. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Worked for Tony B. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Took my bike when I was 12. Lennie Briscoe: [Looking through the list of people who had mail-ordered an assassination handbook] If you see one of my exes in there, let me know. We must be working different courtrooms. A.D.A. Det. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, here. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Oh, you did? Judith Sandler: [after realizing that Campbell never had the coins] I killed a man for nothing. D.A. Said they were doing a little bird watching before school. But that wasn't me. Jack McCoy: There's always a chance Justin could be rehabilitated, Arthur. Arthur Branch: It would've been easier if Warner had taken a chainsaw to a family of four. You think Transmission Travel gives frequent swallower miles? In the end, the people of our city will rest easier knowing that mob violence will not be tolerated and justice will prevail over those who engage in it. These two cases are inextricably linked. You climbed Everest in your shorts. D.A. In case the defense heard the same rumor, you wouldn't get caught in the switches. D.A. Bernie Adler: Don't we have rules of war? Detective Ed Green: When are people gonna learn? Adam Schiff: Some lenders are in a bigger hurry. Where'd you get the money, Bobby? Detective Nina Cassady: Yeah, yeah. Detective Ed Green: [referring to Briscoe] I get to spend all day with him! Detective Rey Curtis: [to Lundquist, after their dinner] Take this. Abbie Carmichael: “It’s a suicide, it’s an accident, it’s a breath mint. Do you think he killed his brother? We can put Miller inside. Narrator: In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. Abbie Carmichael: Someone fill me in here: Who's Diane Hawthorne? Edward Manning: Can I? Lt. Anita Van Buren: And you won't if you let me put this man away, but girl, you got to come clean! You seen the latest figures on her reversal rate, Ben? Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: She did. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Does he make you laugh? Jamie Ross: [Referring to Arlene Webber] But she's guilty too. Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Cause of death, acute pulmonary edema. Dennis Pollock: You didn't even listen to me. Clarissa Wagner: Now everybody knows that Chloe didn't get into Knowles, so we have to go someplace else and start over. The monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole, around the flagpole, around the flagpole. He saw it all! Let us take your fingerprints? They sent an officer, and he found the door cracked. And they got to pay twenty thousand dollars a year to send their kids to kindergarten. Kent Quigley: We're losing our wetlands, our wilderness! Ben Stone: Julia Wood is not a piece of candy, Adam. Lieutenant Sullivan. Couldn't you treat him? Detective Joe Fontana: It's gonna take however long it takes, do you understand me? Schiff: Kid gets off, father buys him a bazooka. D.A. Now everybody knows state psychiatric care could be better. Adam Schiff: Common sense has nothing to do with it. Will you just please give us the name? I talked her out of it. Detective Lennie Briscoe: You remember the seven rings of Saturn? "What you need to know before starting to take the pill". Detective Lennie Briscoe: [finding an abandoned baby stroller] Get CSU down here. Executive A.D.A. Prosky's Lawyer: Yeah, a lunatic and Mrs. Magoo. D.A. A.D.A. You looked a 3000 year old abomination in the eye and hit it back. Jack McCoy: Ramirez claims he didn't see the assailant, but he's suggesting it was the girl's father. D.A. Just a one-time thing. Detective Joe Fontana: You realize this is a long shot? Executive A.D.A. A.D.A. It's a very good way to ensure prompt payment. Detective Ed Green: [in the bathroom] Toothbrush. Detective Kevin Bernard: [a man has been killed in a church, during a service] It has to be said: can I get a witness? A.D.A. [Cutter slowly raises his hand]. Det. Last I looked, it was about justice. Lt. Anita Van Buren: Fontana, Green. Executive A.D.A. Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, I'm expecting my copy from the Book-of-the-Month Club. Serena Southerlyn: He wouldn't be the first person with an 80 IQ to confess to a felony. Did you know a hundred million words get added to that damn thing every day? Detective Ed Green: We need to speak with Reverend Sterling. Jack McCoy: He wants to die, so he's got to be crazy. D.A. A.D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Almost as good as panties in the glove compartment. John David Myers: I got six Tonys, two Pulitzers, and a mom who killed my Dad. [regarding a case where the wife cut her husband's penis off]. Dr. Emil Skoda: Jack, you're about to look into a very ugly corner of the human heart. A.D.A. But if your obstruction allows a massacre to happen, I will crucify you Mr. Kralik. McCoy: Once you turn to necrophilia, incest doesn't seem so bad. Ed Green: Just give up the car! Or, is it having to dig into their own pockets to pay for classroom supplies, or maybe it's being abused and assaulted daily by students and their parents? A.D.A. Ben Stone: The conspiracy is a house of cards. Until we cure what ails the human heart, it won't make a dent in the body count. A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Salva will plead out. Judge Janice Goldberg: What are we having today, a special on chutzpah? Max Greevey: Let's just say I heard a dog bark. Brains? Lt. Anita Van Buren: You think you're the only one who loses sleep? Arthur Branch: No, no... of course not. Serena Southerlyn: Gardner's accepted our offer of man two. Dennis Pollock: [seeing Skoda stand up] What are you doing? He buys both stories. Detective Mike Logan: Scary for the horse, too. Capt. Bruises, broken bones. I'm late for my daily spanking at One Police Plaza. Rey Curtis: Who might have had a grudge against this place? Jack McCoy: Parole board will hear about it twenty-five years from now. What about his fingerprints? Arthur Branch: About where to buy you a steak. She could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a berry aneurysm, a retro-orbital tumor... or does she just have a headache? Det. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [looking through a missing woman's apartment] Her wallet's here... makeup's on the night stand. [Dr. Olivet has been raped while on an undercover mission]. A.D.A. You just got her early. A.D.A. Adam Schiff: Clarence Darrow had Leopold and Leob, and who do we have? Mr. Dworkin wants you to choose culture over citizenship. Paul Robinette: Tell me you believe him. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Still, they could've called in Missin Persons. Detective Lennie Briscoe: She was gonna testify against a dealer. D.A. Joe Fontana: So, uh, you're not worried about any of this? Adam Schiff: [to Jack] I want you to kick the living daylights out of Neal Gorton! Sweetheart, do you understand me? He saw what happened to his brother. It's based on the jury's outrage at Mr. Weber's irresponsible and inexcusable conduct. Jack McCoy: Very cynical, Abbie. Problem was she wasn't dead - she just ran off. A.D.A. Mr. Clayborn: The jury clearly disagrees with the severity of the charge. You've known me a long time, Anwar. ADA Jack McCoy: [his first words to Abbie] I understand you're opening a children's wing on death row. The system won. Her passion for God, however tangible and heartfelt, rendered her oblivious to the mortality of Kira Grayson. Goodbye. Executive A.D.A. Det. Arlene Galvin: I wasn't doing anything wrong. D.A. Detective Rey Curtis: You'll get over it. Josh Lethem: So... there it is. D.A. Det. Capt. Coffee Shop Clerk: Okay, how would you like it? Detective Rey Curtis: Yeah: a cord wrapped around his neck. Serena Southerlyn: On the grounds that Warner isn't competent to negotiate on his own behalf. Do you really want to go to jail? Executive A.D.A. D.A. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: [Referring to a shooting victim who Max suspects isn't as innocent as she seems] That's amazing. Bet they're gonna put that in the local drive-in. Jamie Ross: O'Hara would award custody to Medea. Close range, small caliber. And it's carried me this far in life; I doubt it'll let me down with twelve people unable to avoid jury duty. A.D.A. When are you going to buy a new tie? A.D.A. Det. D.A. Paul Robinette: You killed a man who killed your son, to a jury it doesn't matter how premeditated it was. Jack McCoy: At first I thought the cops were wrong; they weren't. Aren't we suborning perjury? It doesn't work if we don't make it work. But in exchange for your testimony... Judge Margaret Barry: All questions of fact will be for the jury to decide, Mister Stone. Just sweetness and light as far as the eye can see. Sheryl: Yeah, well, we just wanna put this all behind us. She's shanty Irish and proud of it. Nathan Becker: He must be under the impression they're winning. Arthur Branch: She looks the old sarge dead in the eyes and says 'My husband's down by the creek, take him'. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Konstantin Volsky, we're your friendly movers from the NYPD. Web. You think he plays the clarinet? Talk to them. This Johnny Stivers works for him. Arthur Branch: A murder conviction without a body, it's a prosecutor's quadruple jump. Anson Scott: I don't know a damn thing about any judge. Jack McCoy: We can always hope they jump bail. Didn't you tell Miss Ludlow that you hoped your wife would go in peace? Ben Stone: Starvation is a natural cause in Somalia. D.A. Detective Mike Logan: Yeah, what I remember most is I never thought I'd get shot. You didn't have a warrant when you searched his place of abode. Judge Harrison Taylor: You're out, Mr. Margolis. A.D.A. Executive A.D.A. Ben Stone: Judge Thayer- sir, for the last time- for the *very* last time- did you threaten Janet Rudman's child? It's like watching a platypus. P.K. Ed Green: There must be ten, fifteen grand here. [as Carl Reger is being arrested by Briscoe and Green]. I spent a year there one weekend. A.D.A. Detective Fontana would have followed up, and he would have found the kidnapped child. Maxwell "Max" Greevey: We sure are, honey. Jack McCoy: What were the circumstances of his death? Diaphragm. Jack McCoy: ...and reason to bear on the outcome. Adam Schiff: I just got off with the United States Attorney; she called you an obstructionist. Helen DeVries: Samantha Savage was a home video hooker who couldn't write a sentence if you spotted her the noun and the verb. Because you were about to walk out of here in cuffs. Detective Rey Curtis: [trying to smile] Sure, sure. The first half of the show concentrates on the investigation of the crime by the police, the second half follows the prosecution of the crime in court. Serena Southerlyn: It's hardly the same thing. Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: Yeah, the fun part for these guys is the struggle AFTER they've been tied up. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit deals with, as they say, "especially heinous" crimes. Det. The quality of the victim should not matter any more than the quality of his killer. Jack McCoy: You played me, you son of a bitch! This guy gives me a headache. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Well, we don't want to confuse them. Detective Ed Green: People get around stars, they get stupid. Detective Ed Green: Shell casings. A.D.A. I can do it. A.D.A. Detective Mike Logan: 86th and 3rd, the Papaya Place. : Without Fontana's abuse, my client wouldn't have told him that the girl was on the boat, Fontana wouldn't have located her, and she certainly wouldn't have been in the courtroom to connect him to anything! Detective Lennie Briscoe: [holding up his badge] With this. [starts to leave]. They were thinking of Adam Schiff from Law & Order. Ben Stone: Whether he tells the truth or not! Briscoe: My screw-ups?! Nora Lewin: We're sure enough. A.D.A. Detective Rey Curtis: I got to do whatever it takes to get back with her and the kids. Jack McCoy: You promised Nick Zona a liquor license? I'm just asking you to tell the jury how you did it. Rey Curtis: You got these cars listed yet? A.D.A. Kim Triandos: We could both get jobs, Mama. D.A. D.A. Carmichael: Moore must be feeling pretty stupid sitting in Riker's while Debbie is out spending up a storm. Throng of Reporters: [clamoring for attention] Mr. McCoy! Jamie Ross: If I left at 8 am, I wasn't too impressed. Det. D.A. When the yam the study group was growing for biology class is … You have the cops at the door. Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: A few pieces of metal. I'm the D.A. Aaron Polansky got a death sentence! Detective Lennie Briscoe: Pissed anybody off lately? Serena Southerlyn: What happens when you mix midazolam with wine? Executive A.D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah, "Timothyville". She worked in a supermarket. You can't harass him. Clarissa Wagner: For months we worked like maniacs to get Chloe into Knowles. A.D.A. [officers exchange gunfire with driver]. Battered women who killed their abusers. Ben Stone: We had nothing to do with their fates. Lt. Anita Van Buren: Latent came up empty on the murder weapon: the surface was bumpy. Executive A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Be careful, Detective. D.A. Abbie Carmichael: That was the spookiest bunch I ever saw. A.D.A. Rey Curtis: Why not? A.D.A. Jack McCoy: Not today anyway. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [seeing Hellman in the men's room] You get off on that, Judge? novel. And you didn't tell me about it? It was a million over a million! Nobody knew? Detective Ed Green: It wasn't just a bad batch of the vaccine? Alright, then we threaten him with perjury. She can't knowingly let you lie on the stand, nor can she lie to the jury in her closing. Paul Robinette: Why not? Adam Schiff: She spoke up sooner, she might have saved Chris Skinner. Executive A.D.A. Adam Schiff: A circus? Jack McCoy: Well, apparently someone knew. You hear that, Mike? Adam Schiff: Scannel is a major drug dealer. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [after a nurse faints due to noxious fumes emanating from a corpse's mouth] Didn't this happen in California? Judge Harriet Doremus: You'll be a little late. Det. Adam Schiff: And our Swiss banker friends... A.D.A. [pause] . Neil Gorton: I wish you were working on my side of the aisle on this one. Hotel Manager: Excuse me, have you any idea when you'll be done in here? Detective Lennie Briscoe: That must've hurt. Jack McCoy: By breaking the Fifth Commandment, Mr. Reese. Jack McCoy: I've got you for conspiracy, and if I eat my Wheaties I can get you for second-degree murder. Dr. Elizabeth Olivet: The first one's denial. Judge Margaret Barry: Ms. Melnick, any remarks which further provoke Mr. Stone will also provoke me - and you will regret it. Dr. Olivet has testified that because of her age, and because of the way her brain works, she simply couldn't appreciate that as she struck Aaron Polansky with a rock, she was killing him. Green: [finding a receipt on a murder victim's person] Mr. Hoss paid for a meal at Cafe Rouge, 8:16, tonight. Abbie Carmichael: HOPEFULLY his sister will be joining him. D.A. Now, I've heard all the dodging and weaving I can take on this one. Medical Examiner Elizabeth Rodgers: Rodgers. Abbie Carmichael: It's your wife or your mother, Denny. Your job is to convict not to rehabilitate. About the time I threw the tissue into the wastepaper basket and missed? And each of you, as members of the jury, bound yourselves to it when you swore, on your conscience, before God and as a citizen, that you would decide this case on the facts. Detective Lennie Briscoe: And the suspect list is the greater New York phone book. There is this doctor... Stripper: Can you guys make it quick? We met at a golf tournament in Florida. Detective Lennie Briscoe: His heart, and his, you know, "plumbing". Ben Stone: He was never that boy's father. Detective Mike Logan: Trust and lawyer, that's a pair of words that don't match. Claire Kincaid: [considering a new angle for the murder] I never did like chasing my tail. D.A. Executive A.D.A. Detective Lennie Briscoe: Yeah: a different bed to jump into! Who's gonna stop him? Jamie Ross: [after Curtis has had an altercation with McCoy outside the courtroom] What was that about? Capt. Clerk: I was referring to the corporate financial information, about the buyouts. Pizza, cheeseburger, leftover Chinese... Detective Lennie Briscoe: Something wrong with that? Instead he had the deeply offensive idea to use your sympathy for Israel to put a killer back on the street. You know the political climate played no part in my decision. Adam Schiff: The feds would like us to talk to Gaitan. Nothing. Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Emily Newton's tox screen. Wild idea, but her death just might have something to do with drugs. Jamie Ross: It's not in the job description. Mike Logan: Oh, I'm shaking in my blue suede shoes. Detective Cyrus Lupo: [Looking at financial records] 'Who needs math?' Jack McCoy: Not much. But what do we have? He's a shrink too. Jack McCoy: We got dissed. Det. The Mafia? Ruth Miller: Went out with the bathwater. He was just looking for a target. Ruiz is still sticking with "finder's keepers". Is this typical of your work? You could've sunk this trial and you didn't. Detective Ed Green: Yeah well I think you're riding too hard, he's starting to drool. Detective Lennie Briscoe: [referring to Berger] We just have a few simple questions for him. The Dancin' Naked Idiot Family? Adam Schiff: Yeah, I guess etchings don't work anymore. Detective Ed Green: He slaughtered five people in a burger joint in '97. I don't know how you can even *sit* here and defend it! Serena Southerlyn: I still think we should have handed her over to the military. Is why your client being innocent lied to the jury to make me laugh Diego:. 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